


But Honestly

by afrocurl



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/M, M/M, May/December Relationship, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-22 09:59:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17057669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afrocurl/pseuds/afrocurl
Summary: When one relationship ended, how can Erik pick up the pieces?The answer was as surprising to Erik as it was to anyone else.





	But Honestly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [citrinesunset](https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrinesunset/gifts).



> This touches on a few of the requests you made, but I hope you enjoy this **citrinesunset**.
> 
> Happy holidays!

It was damn ironic that his life fell apart to _this _song. “But Honestly” the dashboard said.__

__Scars. Something borrowed. Something blue._ _

__More like something ruined. Erik had half a mind to find something else, but as the song repeated its refrain, it just felt _final_._ _

__This was how a marriage ended: walking out the door, luggage floating behind him as his life’s work alongside Charles stayed static._ _

__All because of a damned fight about the necessity of offensive and defensive training for the students with their powers. Threats would always lurk around corners, and Erik knew everyone needed to be prepared._ _

__Too bad his telepathic husband still believed that everything could be a negotiation. Power demanded action, and the students should know how to use their powers for their benefit. He hadn’t been able to save himself from oppression in East Germany as a Jewish kid in a Communist country, but he could train the future to avoid the same suffering he had lived through._ _

__*_ _

__Magnanimous as Charles was, Erik was allowed to stay in the city apartment while all the necessities of ending a two score relationship were worked out. Charles needed to keep to the school, and Erik had been given a sabbatical, though it was only known to the top staff: Hank, Charles himself and Ororo._ _

__Everyone else was left to assume, Erik also assumed, that he was busy doing legislative work and would be gone to DC for the semester._ _

__How wrong that was._ _

__Their apartment was nice - a few stories overlooking Central Park - but without Charles, it was miserable. No one appreciated Erik’s taste for jazz after a long day, so the melodic tones of Marsalis or Jones were there for no one to hear but himself. They wailed at him when he played something each night, his sad attempt to stave off loneliness._ _

__Try as he might, Erik put together what he could so that he might miss Charles’ presence, but each and every day, Erik wished to feel Charles’ chair roaming through the halls. The space was sad, empty; it made him feel..._ _

__Nothing roamed, save his aimless wandering in sad attempts at life._ _

__*_ _

__Months crept by, slower than molasses in January, until May dawned. He had made it eight months without Charles, and everyone who had come to visit (Emma was the bravest, though Hank and Ororo had called at least to chat) said, “This is the saddest excuse I’ve seen for a life.”_ _

__Erik had no room to reply; it was sad. He found that Postmates and DoorDash delivery folks were the only people he saw on a regular basis, and even then those folks were never the same person day-to-day._ _

__Solitude was all he could figure his life was worth without Charles._ _

__Everyone else seemed to agree. Even Charles, who failed to call at all to see how Erik was doing._ _

__*_ _

__Forgoing graduation as part of the cover story meant that Erik hadn’t seen anyone from the school in nearly a year._ _

__The doorbell, and a slight telepathic nudge, from Jean were a welcome surprise then. He hadn’t known that she liked him well enough to visit him after everything._ _

__“I was in the area and now that I’m graduated everyone filled me in. Well, more like Emma let me see what had happened. I’m sorry.” She looked much the same as she had months ago, though now that she was outside of school grounds, she looked well - happy, engaged - and eager to take on the world._ _

__“You don’t have to come here out of some odd obligation to me, you know.” Erik felt that he should welcome her into the apartment, but that was a slippery slope into other social situations that Erik didn’t think he should handle this week._ _

__“But that’s not it. I like you; I liked your teaching style and your approach.”_ _

__Her eyes looked bigger now that she was trying to persuade Erik, though it might have been some trick from not having much company. “Yet Charles had you pegged as his pet.”_ _

__“Charles saw what he wanted to see, and what I wanted him to see. I’m not here out of pity.”_ _

__A welcome change that was. “So what did you plan to do once you arrived?”_ _

__“How about a conversation--”_ _

__She step through into the apartment with confidence and a determination that Erik hadn’t seen in many people, save himself, in years._ _

__*_ _

__One conversation turned five, turned ten and then Erik found himself thinking of Jean when she wasn’t there._ _

__She was intelligent - her scholarship to Columbia not earned by being a mutant alone - but what did that mean to Erik._ _

__Pleasant conversation, to be sure, but what else?_ _

__She hadn’t asked for dinner, but Erik sensed that it was only a matter of time. There was a look in her wide eyes that said she was interested in more than Erik’s opinions on the news._ _

__*_ _

__After Jean’s move into her dorm, she and Erik had worked out a weekly meeting for conversations on Friday afternoons. Time for them to chat, but still time for Jean to be a college first-year off to any and every party she desired._ _

__Erik, politely, never suggested she should be out on the town, but he knew enough of her character that she was a social butterfly._ _

__“College parties are dull,” she announced rather than getting up to leave around 6:30._ _

__“They’re meant to be about drinking and sex; they serve no other purpose.”_ _

__“And you know this how?”_ _

__“I may not have gotten a degree in an American university, but Charles regaled me with enough stories to know what you’re missing.”_ _

__“Well, you’re much more entertaining and enlightening than any other teen trying to make sense of Kant.”_ _

__Jean stayed. Erik didn’t know what to do with her beside order dinner and keep up their conversation._ _

__The first domino fell: dinner._ _

__*_ _

__Without having her say it outright, Erik had every idea that Jean wanted to sleep with him as soon as he would allow it. He had a hard time rationalizing his ability to do just that - she was of age, no longer under his care and willing - but he still felt like a teacher._ _

__“I know you’re trying to rationalize not sleeping with me.”_ _

__“Thank you for snooping, and for trying to suggest I fuck you at some point.”_ _

__“Well, you’re lonely. You’d be less lonely with me.”_ _

__“And what of those hours when you’re in class, or when you want to be an eighteen year old who fucks around doing dumb shit?”_ _

__“You have a life without Charles you know.”_ _

__Laughing was all he could do, a bitter one that came from thinking he was being played for a fool. “I doubt that; to the world I’m still one half of the greatest Mutant Power Couple and nothing else.”_ _

__“Then they don’t know you.”_ _

__

__Steel in her voice, Erik found he almost wanted to believe Jean’s opinion. “And they wouldn’t like what they learn. Sanitized history is appealing. The truth less so.”_ _

__“I know your story and I still like you.”_ _

__“You have a fixation.”_ _

__“So did Charles.”_ _

__“Drop it.”_ _

__She did. The rest of the day was stilted and more awkward that Erik wanted, but Jean didn’t leave until 6:30._ _

__*_ _

__A shrill ring broke through the silence of the apartment just after 4 one afternoon._ _

__“Allo?” Erik answered._ _

__“Hello,” came Charles’ voice._ _

__“Oh, so you _can_ call.” Dripping sarcasm felt like the best way to deal with Charles at the moment; he rather wanted to just forget that he and Charles had tried to be civil in emails for all of their separation thus far._ _

__“I rather thought you wanted space.”_ _

__“Everyone’s given me space; it’s lonely. You of all people know how hard isolation is for me.” Erik had no reason to bring up the exact reason, but it was important to make the point if Charles was calling._ _

__“I hear you have one visitor.”_ _

__Oh for fuck’s sake. Charles called about Jean. “Yes, I do.”_ _

__“And what of her visits?”_ _

__“She’s interested in talking with me.”_ _

__“Nothing else?” Charles’ voice sounded so skeptical that Erik thought he had already committed some egregious sin._ _

__“You’d have to ask her; I’m not looking after her as if she’s still a student.”_ _

__“But you should..”_ _

__“And what I don’t need from you is a lecture on my responsibilities. I no longer work for your school and I’m no longer your husband. You can stop trying to control everyone to fit your ideals.”_ _

__He hung up, feeling satisfied for the first time in weeks._ _

__*_ _

__“You’re in a good mood,” Jean said the following Friday._ _

__“I suppose; I told Charles off earlier this week. He felt he could lecture me about the two of us.”_ _

__“That was a poor choice.” A sweep of Jean’s still developing telepathy came over Erik, looking for permission to know what happened. He gave her permission, thinking of how it gone once again._ _

__“Well, he’s been known to think only he be right.”_ _

__Jean shifted in towards Erik from her place on the couch. “Does that mean--?”_ _

__“It means that I won’t let Charles dictate my life now.”_ _

__Shifting back, Jean looked heartbroken, but Erik only felt relief._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta for the help, especially since it's not their ship. 
> 
> Title from the Foo Fighters song of the same name.


End file.
